| Location | Edinburgh/scotland |
| Age | 4 years |
| Cause of Death | Rare Heart Condition |
| Date of Birth | 28/10/1991 |
| Date of Death | 29/04/1996 |
| Visitors | 2,846 since 26/02/2008 |
| Creator |
My georgous baby boy was born in simpsons maternity hospital on 28th of october 1991,i was a single parent of 20 years old,when he was born he was just perfect...so i thought.i stayed in the hospital for 5 days and thru those days i kept saying something was wrong with my baby,he wasnt feeding like the other babys,they said he had a small heart murmour that is common in new borns and that he would probably thrive when we got him home.
5 days later we came home to my mums house with papa mick,auntie steph and caesar the dog.i wanted to give him a bath and get his new clothes on..he was in the bath for 5 mins and i noticed he was a very purple colour,i took him out and wrapped him in his towel,i shouted for my mum,she came and had a look at him and phoned the midwife.
elizabeth(i love her)came to the house and straight away new he was in trouble,we got in her car and went back to the hospital who refused to take us because we had been discharged,we went to the sick kids hospital.
when we got there they took him off me and walked away.when i eventually got to see him he was covered in tubes and wires,there were students trying to get blood from everywere.i screamed at them to leave him alone,i was taken out the room.
eventually a doctor came to me and said sean-michael had congenital heart disease and multiple heart disorders,he was dying.
I was offered the choice of immediate surgery or i could take him in my arms and wait for him to die.at that time i wet myself,i was no longer in my body,i was looking down and it was in slow motion.my mum screamed for them to operate and they did,it took 8hrs,when he came out of surgery we had him christened in a dress the hospital chaplin brought in,all his family were there.
Sean-michael led a very happy life surrounded by his loving family...his gran,papa mick,auntie steph,auntie billie,uncle andy,aunty brenda,uncle brian and leigh,he was the only baby in the family and was spoilt!!i was told that he would have to go thru a lot of corrective heart surgery thru his life,he had his first at 5 days old and his second at 4 years old,he battled thru the last one,there were alot of mistakes made by the hospital,he was discharged and ended up back in the next day many times. He also had blocked tear ducts wich needed an operation to fix - another set back. He had a lot of trouble with his bowels aswell,needing yet more operations and needed enemas every day,he always smiled.
On that fatefull day of 29th april..2 weeks after my birthday,at the age of 4 years 6 month,i woke and i could feel him very clammy beside me,he was very sick so i rushed him into hospital,he never wanted to go as he always got warfarin injections wich he hated but on this occasion he wanted to go see his doctor dave,he told me in the taxi that he had a pain in his tummy.....he was holding his heart.
he was in hospital for 4hrs,he was taken to icu,where i held his hand while they put the machines on round him,suddenly all the alarms went off...he looked at me and i knew there and then,my instincs were telling me,he was very very ill,his heart stopped.
They worked on him for 45mins.
my boy was a bright,funny,shy,caring wee soul.
i miss him more each day,as i write this i can hardly see the screen,i have just lived through his death all over again,my heart hurts without him.
i cannot see an end to this grief,my heart is so heavy.
i love you with all i am my angel
please lay by me every night...
mummy xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
this is for sean-michael
Before I Went To Bed Tonight...
Before I went to bed tonight
I just had to let you know,
that my love for you is strong
and will always continue to grow.
Before I went to bed tonight
I thought that you should hear
That every moment we spent together,
I hold so very dear.
Before I went to bed tonight
I had you on my mind.
I thought of things you've done for me,
Things from a heart so kind.
I hope this letter makes you happy,
If only for a while
But I'd gladly write a million
Just to see you smile!
I know this sounds crazy,
Just like I lost my head.
But I had to let you know,
Before I went to bed.
You never know what might happen tomorrow. You never know if tomorrow will even come, so be sure send this to everyone special in your life because tomorrow might be too late!
Happy birthday
Im sending every single bit of love i have to you sean-michael, oh god i miss you so much,you would have been a lovely 19 year old man by now and i wish i knew what you would have looked like. My heart is breaking for the need to have you here with me today and to hold my hand when i get my operation,i am so scared,please be there holding me baby. Miss you sooo much and love you with all my heart love mummy xxxx
. . * + . + * . * + .
+ * JUST * + .
+ . . * + . + * . * +
* . + *SPRINKLING* + .
+ . . * + . + * . * + .
+ , *YOUR. + * PAGE+ *
+ . . * + . + * . * + .*
. * * + . * WITH.* .
+ . SOME. * + * * . + * .
. ** + . + * *+ *
+ ..LOVE.. *
** + . + * *+ *
To a brave little boy
♥_Miss Me - But Let Me Go_♥
*ღ.......*ღ*.......*ღ*.......*ღ*.......ღ*
When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in a gloom-filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.
*ღ..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........ღ*
Miss me a little, but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me, but let me go.
*ღ..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........ღ*
For this journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
a step on the road to home.
*ღ..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........ღ*
When we are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me, but let me go.
*ღ..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........*ღ*..........ღ*
Sean-Michael xxx
Fly away my angel,
Spread your wings and fly;
Take the beauty of your soul,
And share it with the sky.
Take the warmth within your heart,
And put the sun to shame;
The glow of summer's sunlight.
Will never be the same.
Take the strength within your soul,
From your heart, the tenderness there;
Behold the majesty of the sky,
Its beauty does not compare.
Take the splendor of the stars,
That twinkles in the sky;
It fades in the matchless sparkle,
Of the beauty there in your eyes.
Fly away my Angel,
For I have set you free;
I will wait here patiently,
Until you fly back to me.
Allison Chambers Coxsey
Special Angel Day - by Sam & Gordon Winson
Sean-Michael
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still.
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears would make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
Tribute Is For This Weekend
Candles Will Be Lit Again
As Usual On Sunday For Monday
MESSAGE FOR MY FAMILY FROM HEAVEN
To My Dearest Family,
Some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
That I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness;
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
Just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
Every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
When my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me
And He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
You were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on.
There's so much that we have to do,
To help our mortal man."
God gave me a list of things,
That he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
Was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
The day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....
In the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
And all those loving years.
Because you are only human,
They are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry:
It does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
Unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
All that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
You wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
Though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
Than I ever was before.
There are many rocky roads
Ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
By taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
And I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
The world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
Who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......
"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented....
That my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way
I made somebody smile.
So if you meet somebody
Who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
As on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
And you've got Me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
Only half a step behind.
And when it's time for you to go....
From that body to be free.
Remember you're not going.....
You're coming here to Me.
MISS ME..... BUT LET ME GO
We've known lots of pleasure,
At times endured pain,,
We've lived in the sunshine,
And walked in the rain. ,
But now we're separated .
And for a time apart,,
But I am not alone- ,
You're forever in my heart.,
Death always seems so sudden, ,
And it is always sure,,
But what is often forgotten-,
It is not without a cure.,
There may be times you miss me, ,
I sort of hope you do,,
But smile when you think of me,,
For I'll be waiting here for you.
Now there's many things for you to do,,
And lots of ways to grow,,
So get busy, be happy, and live your life,,
Miss me, but let me go.
MY FRIEND I CARE
Don’t tell me that you understand.
Don’t tell me that you know.
Don’t tell me that I will survive,
How I will surely grow.
Don’t come at me with answers
That can only come from me.
Don’t tell me how my grief will pass,
That I will soon be free.
Accept me in my ups and downs.
I need someone to share.
Just hold my hand and let me cry
And say, “My friend, I care"
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
This Tribute Is For This Weekend A Little Longer Than Usual. Sorry It's So Early I've Got A Busy Weekend Ahead
________________________________________________
I will light my candles as usual on Sunday
Our memories build a special bridge
When loved ones have to part.
To help us feel we're with them still
And soothe a grieving heart.
Our memories span the years we shared,
Preserving ties that bind.
They build a special bridge of love
And bring us peace of mind.
When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
If tears could build a stairway,
And memories were a lane,
We would walk right up to heaven
And bring you back again.
Our hearts still ache in sadness
And secret tears still flow.
What it meant to lose you
No one can ever know.
But now we know you want us
To mourn for you no more.
To remember all the happy times,
Life still has much in store.
Since you'll never be forgotten,
We pledge to you today:
A hallowed place within our hearts
Is where you'll always stay.
A million times we've needed you,
A million times we've cried.
If love could have saved you,
You never would have died.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
In our hearts you hold a place
No one will ever fill.
It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn't go alone.
Part of us went with you
The day God took you home.
Thoughts Today, Memories Forever
Angela (Christopher-John Rowe) Mum
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_***________________ _____***_
_***________JUST____ _____***_
__***_____SENDING___ ___***___
___***______LOVE____ ___***____
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love maryann xx
That is one of the most heart wrenching memorials i have read on here, the part where he said he couldn't do it anymore brought tears to my eyes :(
He was a beautiful little boy and heaven will be proud to have him! XXXXX
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